Burdens That Bind and Blind Us
In coaching conversations, when clients haven’t yet identified a focus for our meeting, I often ask a simple but revealing question -
What might be taking up space in your head or your heart that, if addressed, would put you in a much better place?
The answers usually focus on what they feel -
- stress
- frustration
- fatigue
- disappointment
What is less often identified is what’s driving those feelings -
- avoidance of difficult decisions, people or conversations
- unresolved issues or hurts
- misplaced blame
- untested assumptions or conclusions
- reluctance to address issues head-on
These patterns show up across all areas of life - not because situations are the same, but because the same internal processes are at work. At their core, they are often driven by fear and confusion.
Left unaddressed, burdens begin to influence - and eventually shape - how we think things through, evaluate what is happening, and respond, reducing our ability to understand, adapt to and overcome what stands in our way.
I’ve found this often shows up in two interconnected and mutually reinforcing ways.
1. Burdens That Bind Us
Unresolved burdens restrict progress. Options begin to shrink. Decision- making slows or stalls. What once felt possible starts to fall outside our comfort zone - not because circumstances have changed, but because internal resistance has increased.
We hesitate, delay, or settle because unresolved internal pressure distorts judgment, making caution seem necessary.
2. Burdens That Blind Us
Unresolved burdens distort perception. They narrow our perspective, blur our focus, and alter how we interpret situations. Avoidance can begin to look sensible. Hesitation feels justified. Rationalization gradually replaces honest examination.
What needs to be faced does not disappear - it is pushed into the background, where it continues to influence decisions.
We rarely realize we are becoming bound or blinded while it is happening. Yet as burdens go unaddressed, they erode our mental, emotional, relational, and spiritual capacity.
Life repeatedly requires us to confront what binds and blinds us; when we don’t, the weight increases.
Reflection question:
What might be limiting my progress and distorting my perspective without me fully realizing it?
Why Burdens Tend to Persist
While the severity of the burdens that bind and blind us matters, their continued influence largely depends on whether they remain unresolved.
I believe that two forces fuel most persistent burdens - fear and confusion.
Fear limits what we are willing to face.
The core driver in most unresolved struggles is fear - not always in obvious ways, but in the urge to postpone, deflect, or resist. Even pride frequently masks fear rather than reflecting genuine confidence.
Fear tends to show up in recognizable patterns -
- Avoidance - steering away from what feels threatening.
“Now isn’t the right time. I don’t want to make things worse.” - Control - managing conditions to reduce vulnerability.
“If I can just keep things stable. I need to make sure nothing goes wrong.” - Self-Protection - withholding truth, evading vulnerability or risk.
“I can’t afford to mess this up. It’s safer not to say anything.”
Fear does more than create discomfort - it makes avoidance, control, and self-protection seem reasonable.
Confusion makes it difficult to know what to face, how to face it, or whether anything gets addressed at all.
It is usually experienced as genuine uncertainty rather than intentional avoidance. We feel overwhelmed, pulled in multiple directions, or unable to see the whole picture clearly.
Fear and confusion frequently operate together, each reinforcing the other. When we cannot identify the core issue, determine what matters most, or separate primary concerns from side issues, thinking becomes scattered.
Over time, confusion commonly shows up in predictable ways -
- Overthinking - too many variables, no clear objective.
“I need to think about this more. There’s a lot to consider.” - Mental Looping - revisiting the same thoughts without resolution.
“I keep coming back to the same concerns. Nothing feels clear yet.” - Mislabeling the Real Issue - treating symptoms as the problem.
“It’s complicated. I think it’s just stress.”
As a result, decisions are delayed and accountability is deferred - sometimes deliberately, but more often because taking action feels risky without clarity.
Functionally, confusion creates protective ambiguity. It doesn’t stop our thinking - it traps it. What remains unclear is not addressed - and it doesn’t go away.
Confusion can involve a lack of understanding, knowledge, experience, or information, but in the context of unresolved burdens, it likely reflects internal conflict that limits forward movement.
Reflection question:
What fear or uncertainty may be influencing what I’m willing - or unwilling - to face right now?
When Fear and Confusion Become a Way of Living
When fear and confusion go unaddressed, I’ve found they tend to give rise to two conditions that allow burdens to persist and compound.
An Unexamined Life
In my experience, within nearly every bind-and-blind pattern lies an unexamined part of life.
When fear determines what we avoid and confusion limits forward movement, life gradually goes unquestioned. Conclusions about ourselves, others, and our circumstances harden. Patterns repeat. Responses become automatic rather than thoughtfully considered. What begins as occasional avoidance becomes a way of living.
For most people, an unexamined life isn’t the result of an inability to think or reach conclusions, but of conclusions that are never revisited or questioned.
When those conclusions go untested, growth slows as familiar ways of thinking and responding override reflection and learning.
Reflection question:
What conclusions about myself, others, or my circumstances have I failed to examine?
A State of Unforgiveness
Forgiveness, of others and of ourselves, is often misunderstood. It is not an act performed primarily for someone else’s benefit.
Forgiveness is a conscious decision that brings mental and emotional freedom to the one who forgives.
We may not yet be ready to consider forgiveness because we need time to process pain, anger, or loss. What binds and blinds is not that process - it’s unforgiveness.
Based on my own life and my observations of others, unforgiveness most often forms when fear or hurt resists letting go, and confusion interrupts honest examination. People remain internally attached to what happened - revisiting, managing, or judging it long after the event has passed. In this state, the past continues to govern the present.
Until release occurs, the burden remains active.
Reflection question:
In what ways might my life change if I released the pain or anger I’m still carrying from the past by choosing forgiveness?
Why Confrontation Is Necessary - and Difficult
Confronting what binds and blinds us is necessary because avoiding it carries real costs. Yet knowing this does not make confrontation easier.
Confrontation is difficult because it -
- Requires ownership -
It asks us to acknowledge our role in the issues we’ve avoided or not fully faced - even when others contributed to them. - Removes protective ambiguity -
While postponing or avoiding issues feels safer than facing them, confrontation removes the option to wait and forces a decision. - Challenges settled conclusions -
Some burdens persist because they are attached to beliefs about ourselves, others, or the situation that we have stopped questioning. - Disrupts familiar coping patterns -
Confrontation removes the buffers of avoidance, rationalization, and distraction, exposing the issue. - Exposes blind spots -
The very areas that bind and blind us are often the ones we are least able to see clearly on our own.
Living with unresolved burdens wears us down. We move through life tense and uncertain, missing what matters, misreading situations, and reacting instead of thinking things through.
Reflection question:
What have I been postponing or managing around that I know needs to be faced directly?
Final Thoughts
Early on, as I reflected on what binds and blinds us, three things became clear.
First, the burdens that bind and blind us are often the ones we are least equipped to resolve on our own.
Apart from issues beyond our control, I’ve found that the issues that most limit our lives are tied to fear, confusion, unresolved hurt, or settled conclusions about ourselves or others that we fail to examine and confront.
Progress often begins with recognizing the limits of our own perspective - and accepting that confronting these burdens usually requires help.
Second, from a Biblical perspective, we were never meant to carry these burdens on our own.
Scripture teaches that what we allow to take root in our heart - if left unguarded - shapes our thinking, decisions, and actions, because everything flows from it (Proverbs 4:23). It also teaches that transformation comes through renewed thinking, not conformity to familiar patterns (Romans 12:2). Rather than urging self-reliance, Scripture directs us to bring what weighs us down to God (Matthew 11:28).
Throughout the Bible, God reveals Himself as the One who bears, sustains, and strengthens His people under burdens they were never meant to carry alone.
Freedom comes from accepting truth aligned with reality, not reshaping it to fit our own perspective (2 Timothy 4:3-4). Unforgiveness keeps us carrying inner burdens that God has already provided a way to remove (Psalm 32:3-5; Ephesians 4:31-32). God expects us to forgive others, and Jesus makes clear that refusing to do so blocks our ability to receive forgiveness (Matthew 6:14-15).
Third, it takes maturity, humility and courage to seek help.
Recognizing the need for an outside perspective is not a weakness; it is a sign of maturity. Clarity often comes through others - trusted friends, mentors, counselors, therapists, or coaches - who help us see what we could not see on our own. I’ve learned repeatedly throughout my life that God works through people and circumstances to confront us and help us grow. Seeking or accepting help is an act of humility that requires courage.
When it comes to burdens that bind and blind us, what we avoid does not loosen its grip, and what we put off confronting does not lose its power. Left unaddressed and carried in isolation, these burdens tighten their hold. We all face burdens in life.
Wisdom is recognizing that the burdens we are least equipped to resolve were never meant to be carried alone.